A Death In The Family

My father in law died this morning after a short battle with prostate cancer.  Cancer sucks.  Men, get your PSA test when your doctor tells you to do so.

My husband’s family is in England, he is there with them now.  He went last week at the urging of his sisters to “come now”.  So glad he listened!  He’ll spend a few extra days there, things are a bit in flux at the moment, so not sure exactly what will happen.

My father in law, Roy, was a wonderful man.  Gentle, quiet, funny in an understated and sometimes snarky way.  Easy to talk to, a great listener and always a gentleman.  He loved my kids and me too.  I am a lucky girl to have had him so long.

We saw each other in person every couple years and thanks to Skype, were able to speak and see each other fairly frequently.  One of the positive thing about long visits to each other’s homes is the intensive contact you get when you have to stay for 10 days+ to  “make it worth going”.    I spent 3 weeks on their side of the pond  a couple of times and had many shorter trips too.  And of course, they visited here numerous times through the 24 years we had together.

The first time we met he was remarkably welcoming and accepting of me.  I was a loud American who was 5 years older than his son.  Craig’s relationship with me meant he would leave the UK and move to the US.  It shows a lot of grace and innate kindness that he and Craig’s mum were so kind and loving to me from the moment we met.  I was very nervous about it!

Through the years he and I had a lot of congenial talks as we strolled through beautiful gardens at stately homes, wandered around museums, or explored parks.  I’ll miss those excursions, they won’t be quite the same without his presence.

Today will be a strange day.  I’ll go about my usual business, (except for the  dental appointment which I’ve just canceled – don’t think I can take that today), feeding my two feral cat colonies, getting a haircut (which I need desperately), fixing dinner for the kids, and of course, knitting.  But Roy and the rest of the crew will be in my thoughts all day.

My kids have been stellar – oldest daughter, only 17, said “you should go to England Mom, us kids will stay home – I got this”.  So proud of her today.

This grief feels like an turbulent ocean, with waves smashing into me.  I catch my breath and feel calmer, then it breaks over me again.  Gonna be a long day.

For my fiber-y friends, here is my latest spinning eye candy.  Here is the early part of the bobbin.

And here is the outside

Reminds me of grapes.  Will ply it with something else, not sure what color yet.  Maybe I’ll dye something purply pink.  But not today.